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A Happy Ending for ‘Dirty Bingo’ Night

February 14, 2013

After a lot of controversy and whining from campus bluenoses the ‘Dirty Bingo Night’ at North Carolina State University went off without a hitch. The Union Activities Board was forced to scale back the event after someone discovered an obscure state law that says that any bingo game offering prizes in excess of $10 must obtain a bingo license from the state. Prizes for the game ranged from sex toys to copies of Fifty Shades of Grey. UAB president Lauryn Collier said the event originally planned to offer prizes like edible undergarments, several vibrators and several ‘surprise packs.’ Collier said the UAB president Lauryn Collier wanted to “find an innovative and entertaining way to talk about sex and sex education, particularly on a college campus, which deviates the norm and expected.”

Because of the amount of complaints the Activities Board was forced to spend more money than planned to have players wanded for weapons as they entered the facility where the event was held. Many students expressed ‘outrage’ that their student fees were being used to purchase risqué, non-academic items. Jason Cockrell, a senior in applied mathematics and campus bluenose started a Facebook page protesting the event. The Activities Board spent about $304 on the prizes which amounts to less than one penny from each student.

Emma Benson, a senior business administration student and chairman of the far right extremist group Young Americans for Liberty, was one of those having a hissy fit over the event. Benson told reporters “I have no problem with the event, just the fact that student fees were paying for it. We were concerned about cutting back costs, given the economy.” Evidently business major Benson is not familiar with the latest figures showing the economy is improving.

Other students were excited about the event and looked forward to attending. Carmen Cubilla, a senior in biology, stated “I feel like our generation doesn’t know how to talk about sex. I think the people against the event don’t realize that the toys can be utilized in a positive way. Sex is biological and it’s going to happen. It should be regarded as healthy.” After pressure from ‘concerned’ students the board altered its plans for the event. An anonymous donor gave the Board almost $300 to cover expenses so student funds were not used. Collier said “We found that the student fees were the biggest problem and since we solved the problem, many students have expressed their appreciation.”

In addition to dealing with the possibility of a protest disrupting the event the Board was forced to change its prize inventory a second time because of the licensing requirements. In the end those students who believe in freedom carried the day and the event was held without incident.

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